Monday, November 8, 2010

My Three Lives; a philisohical beehive

I spent the weekend helping to load the wood kiln at Gustin's place. I am in love with this work, everything about it, from the crazy amounts of menial labor to the grand social experiment, to hiding the stress of loading work. I especially like the mechanics of firing. There seems to be this grand circle of life that becomes so apparent with the wood kiln; earth and fire colliding in a horrifically violent and incredibly peaceful manner. Eventually the dragon gives birth to the flame kissed and ash licked work often holding nothing back. Cords of wood reduced to nothing more than a single dustpan full of clean white ash.
On Friday night I was told I live three lives at once; educator, artist, and homemaker (mom, wife, athlete, coach, cheerleader, etc). My head often spins like a top, thirty five directions at once. Last night multi-tasking created this anxst that has made me long for a summer day by the pool with Pete doing nothing except listening to the breeze and each other or a camping trip with Kenny where we climb some mountain and just sit. Calgon definately needed to take me away, or maybe the guys in the white coats?
I spent the day freezing my tail off yestreday. For some reason, I was so cold that miserable was not the even applicable. I am not sure if its the change in my size, the actual weather, the standing still, the buzz of emotional ware and tear, the fact that I was tired? Who knows. All I know is that it was hard to concentrate on the work of loading. I eventually gave up at 4PM and left to tend to my other two lives, finishing up my grading and coaching a bunch of kids to light ice on fire with 16" of steel. I arrived to Lovey bringing me dinner, Dan bringing Chris over and the whole lot being on the ice already. Two jackets on and moving around and I was still cold.
On the way home, Chris ran into to the store to get me a bottle of water, I was so thirsty, hmmm, maybe that was why I was so cold? I opened it and immediately dumped 1/2 of it all over myself. Now I was cold and WET! In anycase, I survived the last hour of my journey and decided to leave the rest of my tasks until 4AM, took a very LONG HOT shower and tried to get some sleep.
Morning came to quickly. I had one of those nights where I wouldn't let myself relax. I think I was just afraid I wouldn't wake up in time and be left with a grading nightmare. It was fine. They were finished and posted by 8AM, just as required. Tonight I will sleep, I hope!

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