Friday, April 26, 2013

can't seem to settle in

Yes, life is driving me a bit crazy right now! I can't seem to settle in, settle down, etc. I can deal with the foot being broken, the cast being itchy (and smelly), the plastic bags that don't really do much with each shower, and the slower pace of life. What I cannot seem to deal with, at least not too well, is the dependence on others to get around. Getting to work, which is 25 miles on backroads, has been fine, as my friend and colleague lives right by the train station in Mt. Kisco, so I drive to the station in the morning with Kenny, take the train to Mt. Kisco, meet her and drive in together. The way home has been a bit more complicated. Mostly because I don't want to impose on her afternoon, so despite her willingness to help me in anyway she can I am having a hard time with putting her out.

Then there is the cost. I will insist on paying for gas. It is the right thing to do, hands down, so that thing about talking me out of it is not even allowed to be in the picture. The train is 7/day and the parking for our car since Kenny is having to leave it at the station because I can't handle the mile in a cast is 4/day. So an extra 55/week I am shelling out, not much on the front side, but it does add up eventually.

I have these grand ideas of how this will force me into the studio. I am finding that has been happening slowly. I did come home and work yesterday for hours, Tuesday and Wed too. However, there are some things that I found just plain difficult, like lifting a bag of clay. When I spent 3 weeks with untreated broken bones I was in all kinds of pain, foot, leg, hip, back, neck and I just managed. When they casted my foot, all of that pain went away almost immediately. Now when I lift a bag of clay, or kiln shelves (holy crap I never realized how heavy those things were), I am in excruciating pain from the extra pressure that puts on my foot. Its like going from zero to 950 on a scale of 1-10.
So working in my studio is very fatiguing and because of that very, very, very frustrating!

Richard, I can hear you already my friend, you and my friend Robin share the same sentiment. No, there is never a day where I can just be content with sitting. That is not until I learn to perfect the art of meditation to the point of NO distractions. When I sit and do nothing I think to damn much! :)

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