The Spirit of something? Maybe? Trying?

I spent the day in one of my favorite places, Saratoga, wishing I had more time to relax and definitely wishing I had time to spend with Kelly, who was busy trying to get her holiday groove on and cookie baking together and Alison, who is off to Hawaii with Rich, who is receiving some award for his SERVICE to our country, but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was even though she spent some time explaining it. The last two months have been a blur trying to prepare for this exhibition in the gallery at the Jonesville Store and trying to heal from what I finally learned was an overzealous Rickettsia infection that I managed to pick up in Korea. I have finally started to get some sleep and feel like myself, something that I have not managed to say in 4 months. Honestly though, while I am starting to feel better, I still feel extremely overwhelmed. Today was typical of my weekend commutes, 2.5 to 3 hours each way. I think I am getting to damn old to be driving 350 miles a day. Next weekend? That starts the 4.5 hour drives to Lake Placid every weekend we are not traveling somewhere else to a competition, something that I am both excited about and dreading at the same time. When will March be here? I am looking forward to competing in marathons this year, but there again, I have barely had the time to train for them. We will see what happens next weekend when I skate my first one in 5 years.

So today? We dropped my work off at the Jonesville Store, called Kelly, chopped down our Christmas tree, spent time with my mother, went to Hattie's Chicken Shack for lunch, drove 150 miles towards home, hit Home Depot for plastic, DiCicco's for beer, Geatanno's for dinner, had a text conversation with Pete, and then finally arrived home. I am trying to decide if I am just road weary or tired, or both. Tomorrow at least I can sleep in, I think. In all of this, I have managed to notice that I am a little short on spirit this year. I am trying.

Pete made me smile from ear to ear when he told me he got me something that would make me laugh and cry at the same time. I have so much to look forward to this year. Mike and Vim come in from KL on Tuesday for a few weeks. The kids must have grown so much since the last time they were here. We will be going to Gary and Camille's Christmas day, something we have not done in awhile. We are going to Pete and Roy's too. I then get to spend a week in Lake Placid doing nothing except skating and reading, eating and sleeping. I am starting to feel the excitement through the fog.

Kelly posted about Christmas past this morning. It got me thinking about the past 9 years. Every year since Chris first dawned a pair of skates we have been in Lake Placid for the week between Christmas and New Years. Last year I skipped across the pond, but Chris still managed to get up there. This year, he had the opportunity to head to Salt Lake but chose to go upstate because he realizes that this will most likely be the last Christmas week he gets to grace LP with his presence. He understands that his life is going to change soon. I think Bob Fenn was a bit disappointed that Chris was choosing the Dacks over the Wasatch but at the same time I think he fully appreciated Chris's wishes and read him the "OK, but stay focused on your training" riot act so to speak. I hope Bob knows that I appreciate this too, as I have just come to realize that this will be one of my last weeks in Lake Placid with him too. Maybe this is what is bothering me, my life it changing, hurtling fast towards that empty nest and while I am really excited about it, I am melancholy as well.

Kelly's post also got me thinking, as I read the Christmas Carol for the first time in years (completely random coincidence BTW) about favorite Christmas memories of my own childhood like hanging out with the Repps and then the Wilkinsons on Christmas Eve, watching The Christmas Story over and over again as well as that stupid yule log, having Mr Repp call his own house from the neighbors playing Santa (I cannot believe we all fell for it). The trips to Bellmore for Christmas dinner at my grandparents; roast beef, yorkshire pudding, string beans and the lemon sherbert and chocolate chip cookies. We would race home to be ready for that early morning trip and the week of skiing in NH. Then when I got married, there were the long trips to Burke Mtn, the renewal of the Wigilia tradition in my family, the rather large house busting Christmas eve open house we have thanks to Kenny's family tradition (where everyone who wasn't Christian had a place to go too), and where Elijah has always had a place at our dinner table and always found our front door left open. There was also New Year's day at Cioci Mary's.

So as the weekend draws to a close and I have thought about the true meaning of all those lights I have passed this evening, I try to find within myself that spirit that I know I have. My wish is that my friends who can totally empathize with my state of being find theirs too. (wink)

If you find yourself wondering around the Capitol District in the next few weeks and have time to kill, are looking for a great place to eat and want to see what my laborious studio rants have been about check out the Jonesville Store. The work should be up by Dec 15th (Wed) and remain there until Jan 31. The champagne and brownie reception will be Jan 9th from 1-3PM.